you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
