just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize