mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
