I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
