Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
