today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
