Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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