thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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