Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
