So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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