Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
