I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
