I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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