her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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