if i can run in heels then i can drive
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize