I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
