Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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