Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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