so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I don't deserve a penis
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
