Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
