Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
