Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
