Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
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just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
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Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.