I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.