There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation