Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
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He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
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Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.