Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.