Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.