i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
