She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
