When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Randomize
