Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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