arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?