You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!