I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.