i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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