can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Welp...herpes.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
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There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
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I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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