Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize