So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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