I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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