I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
