Will you blow on my dice?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
