So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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