I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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