I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
