the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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