I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize