Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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