Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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