haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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