and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
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