I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
