she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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