In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
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