oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
