I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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