you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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