i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
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You. Win. At. Life.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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