jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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