He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
