im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
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He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
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He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?