how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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