I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.