i just had sex bonerless
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.