you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything