Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
